Baked Salmon Toast

If you're looking for something to go with your comically oversized glass of $2 wine, look no further! Salmon on toast is the way to go.

Start with a good sized salmon steak and a piece of foil. Season with what you have on hand - in this case some lime juice, chilli flakes and some lemon, herb and garlic seasoning. Use heaps of each as it's baking and will lose flavour otherwise.

Wrap it up good and tight, and pop it in a preheated oven at 180 for 45 minutes. In the meantime, toast half a baguette and get some lettuce ready. Spread some cream cheese on the bread prior to putting the lettuce on it.

Then, put the salmon on top of the lettuce and enjoy as an open topped sandwich! Tasty with a good white wine. Try to pretend that you're on a windswept beach tanning and enjoying a samba. I don't know why, but it really amps up the flavour for me.

Growing Herbs

OK, so, this isn't strictly a Stuff We Cooked post, it's a Stuff We Intend To Cook When It's Grown Up post.  I figured it was food-related, and thus close enough.

Steph and I are irritated by the portion sizes of fresh herbs bought at the supermarket.  Supermarket portions for things like meat are fine - you just make twice as much as you need and get some lunches.  But with a bundle of dill, chives or rosemary, you'd have to make an order of magnitude more food than you need just to use up the bunch. And that's silly.  Our quest for customisable herb portions led us to the somewhat archaic idea of end-user agriculture.  Subsistence farming is totally where it's at!

Step one: Things in which you can put the things that will turn into things you eat.  (I am really down with the farming lingo! Splice the plough furrows! Make fast the combine harvester!)

Step two: I'm told (by my mother, who has considerably more Not Killing Things That Live In Dirt experience than me) that soil coming out the bottom of pots when you water them is a problem, and she provided us with this fibrous matting stuff designed to line the bottom of pots.  The stuff was cut, stabbed at regular intervals and then placed at the bottom of the dirt receptacles.

Step three: Dirt.  This is "Seed raising mix", which runs about $11 for 25 litres. Experts in the domain say it's good for raising seeds. We used about half of it for our two pots, retaining the rest for when the dirt gets too... dirty or something.  I dunno how that works.

 Step four: Distribute seeds according to instructions on pack. The different plants have different recommended planting depths, from 5mm to 12cm, so that's probably important. Oh, yes, I should mention: You will need packs of seeds.  Apparently this does not work very well without them.  I am not entirely sure what they do, but they are clearly important. We went with coriander, chives, basil, sage, dill and spinach.  We already have a jalapeno chilli plant and a small oregano thanks to my mother, so we think that this should cover most of our herbquirements. Yeah, the spinach isn't really a herb, but we needed a sixth, and baby spinach leaves are delicious.

 Here is my finger (safely ensconced in a latex rubber glove, because dirt is dirty) prodding at some dirt:

And here is Steph and my sophisticated planning of plantage: "I dunno, five maybe.  And put two in each hole".

Water the whole thing thoroughly (until it's dripping out the base!) and you're done.  I water these every morning, it probably takes about half a litre of water a day to keep these two pots looking slightly damp but not waterlogged.  If you miss a day it's no big deal: the soil shouldn't dry out for a few days.

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Now, here's what it all looks like two weeks later:

We made living things!  From dirt! AHAHAHAHAH!!!!

That's chives foreground on the left, basil centre left, and spinach background on the left.  Coriander is foreground on the right, the bare ground on the right houses slow-growing sage, and the right background has dill.

I shall update this post weekly with growth progress until these plants are rendered consumptible!

Sausage Rolls

Today's cooking masterclass involves the ancient art of Sausage Rolls. 

For the one's we're making here, we made one batch with chicken filling (courtesy of a couple of chicken breasts leftover from previous night's dinner) and one with beef mince. You can use whatever you want to make the filling, and every combination gives a new and exciting taste to this simple classic. To make the filling, I blendered the meat (obviously not the mince since it already had been) and mixed it with a cup of breadcrumbs, some random herbs and spices, half an onion and an egg. Mix them all together in a bowl till they're sticky.

Defrost your puff pastry and cut it into rectangles. Put the filling in it lengthways and then roll them up.

Using a brush, coat the outside of the pastry with either milk or oil or melted butter. Place them on a tray with baking paper on it. Pop them in the oven at 200 for about 45 minutes (less if you're using precooked meat). Take them out, serve with your favourite sauces, and you're done!

Roast Lamb and Gravy Rolls

So what should you do if you're feeling lazy and want something tasty and filling for dinner? My recommendation? Roast lamb and gravy rolls. Easy, simple, and awesomely filling.

First just buy some lamb steaks and fry them up. You want them rare->medium-rare as otherwise lamb is completely wasted. Make sure to season them with rosemary and thyme.

Organise your bread rolls (the crustier the better) and some cheese if like me you can't go one meal without some.

You could make your own gravy, but we're aiming for lazy awesomeness so crack open the Gravox. 

Put the lamb (and cheese) on the rolls. Slather everything with tasty, thick gravy. Devour. Have a second roll afterwards to mop up the leftover gravy. Pass out on the couch in a warm haze of meat and deliciousness.

Repeat as necessary.

Chicken Nachos

We're big fans of Mexican food. Of course by Mexican food I mean the kind you get from Old El Paso boxes that have little or no connection to Mexico past some random Espanol on the box. We do, however, make our own versions of the classics, which we present to you tonight.

Start with a lump of chicken. Some people with better habits than me like to either get fresh meat or at least defrost it, but fuck them, partially defrosting it in the microwave and then chopping it up is just as good. If you disagree, well, just go try it your way and see how much I care. 

If you've followed my advice, you'll find it's easier to slice it into steaks and then chop it up. The more you know.

Cook the chicken until it's done all the way through. Whilst this is happening...

Prepare your corn chips and make some guacamole by mixing avocado, lime juice and pepper. Easy as anything and you'll think you're south of the border. The USA/Mexico border, not the NSW/Victoria one. Just in case you were confused.

We decided to add refried beans from a can this time, not cat food. Please note the difference, since they look identical and if you were just looking at the photos you might be in for a nasty surprise.

Add the chicken and some hot salsa to the chips, stirring liberally. Add some cheese to the mix.

Next, add as much cheese as you can find over the top. Anyone who doesn't like cheese in abundance should give up now. On life, I mean. Seriously, cheese is awesome.

See! This is the level of cheesiness you should be going for. 

Bake it in the oven until it's all melty, or until you can't wait anymore. We left ours for 30 minutes, but that's because we're forgetful and also drinking while cooking.

Pull your concoction out, and serve it up in your normal style.

Serve with the guacamole and some sour cream, and if you have any taste add some chilli. As much as you can handle. Serve and devour immediately!